Coaching

How I want to Life Coach

With my unique abilities

• I have infinite patience to listen. I don’t listen for the sake of answering. I listen to understand, question and think together.
• I am well versed in observing the thought process and the chain of reasoning of the person I’m talking to – so that I can extract the meta patterns.
• I focus on all the 3 aspects of existence - mind x body x spirit.
• I can think about a problem in various frames - emotional, psychological, physical, mechanical, spiritual, etc.
• I focus on solutions that are practical in the modern age.
• I’ve dabbled in a lot of domains in my life and I often think in a multidisciplinary way.
• I try to the understand a person in their own life context, using the principles of human behaviour, how the world works and the truths that operate underneath the actions in our daily lives – and how everyone is shaped by their past circumstances – to variable extents.

With my life experiences

• I’ve fought with borderline depression on my own. Not something to be proud of but that also helps me associate strongly and empathically with someone dealing with the similar issues.
• I was a software engineer for 5 years and have dealt with a lot of unwanted tension and stress. Software engineering is a lonely job but few understand the amount of mental fortitude it takes to do quality work.
• I carried childhood trauma for a long time. It affected a lot of relationship in my life in a bad way. But I’ve processed most of it now. I’ve also gotten into a fairly good relationship with my parents.
• I’ve always been a highly observant and curious person. So, even in the times of distress, I try to be as curious as possible about the emotions that are flowing through me. And when you honestly observe them, they go away after a while.
• I’ve also deep into meditation around 2 years back. It helped with almost all the things listed above. It also expanded my ability of awareness. I’ve a lot of thoughts, theories and opinions about our minds and bodies.
• I’ve gone from a not-so-social to a social person. I like to make new friends now. And my expectations from relationships are have evolved in a good way.
• Finally, I’ve improved my physical appearance a lot – through a lot of dedicated work in grooming but mostly in fitness. The shift has elevated my self confidence to levels I couldn’t imagine 2 years back.

What is my idea and philosophy of coaching

I believe that everybody has the capacity to think and solve their problems. But sometimes, there’s a gap that need to be filled, a cloud that need to be moved or an expression that needs to be unlocked. My job is to help you achieve these things.

Most of the times, a lot of our problems are not real problems. They are just cover ups for deeper problems that are worth solving. My job is to slowly and patiently bring those problems to surface while making the person more confident in the process.

I like to push people in their thinking and shifting/adopting/changing new mindsets but not to the point of reluctance. You know, 3 steps forwards, one step back. :)

You can read my general philosophy of life in detail here -

https://letsharden.substack.com/p/how-to-own-your-life-the-harden-way

What is NOT my idea and philosophy of coaching

Handing our prescriptions and “HOW-TOs”.

Handing out shallow affirmations.

Handing out problem solving methods and frameworks that don’t have any basis in the person’s context.

Stressing on how “I” want to solve a problem and not on the best way to solve the problem without presumptions, beliefs and judgements.